


so i remember

by CrazyLaughter



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Give It a Chance Please?, M/M, POV First Person, POV Harry Styles, What Was I Thinking?, larry drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 09:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16282301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyLaughter/pseuds/CrazyLaughter
Summary: Remember the time you came over for the first time?





	so i remember

**Author's Note:**

> This is a slightly different approach. I'm feeling very experimental these days. Harry's mind is a mess in this, bear with me. One would say I have a messy mind. Thanks for reading! Feedback is appreciated. x

Remember the time you came over for the first time?

I stormed out of my house in one of my self-proclaimed teenage rebellions, anger in my veins and blood rushed to my head. You called me saying you were right around the corner. You came my way while I clenched my fists, longing to break something. In your dress shoes, suit jacket and combed back hair that was nothing like you. I remember thinking you walked out of a wedding like it was yours- chin high and fuck-it attitude. If that were true, you would've pulled it off. I never asked you why you were dressed like that, or where you came from?

(Really, though. Did you come from heaven? Sorry.)

You were ripped shorts and disheveled hair and coy looks. The good boy look took to you, but it wasn't what you were. Perhaps, that's why I fell in love with you then.

There was an unnoticeable light dust of stubble at the end of your chin. (I always noticed, you clot. How could I not?)

You didn't smile, you never did. I knew you were sunshine trapped in a human body, waiting to wrangle yourself out of your pores. But, then again, we were naive teenagers seeking love and revenge. You didn't smile because it was metal as fuck. Silly when you think of it, right?

I retraced my steps to where I came from and we walked around the neighbourhood in the glowing evening like it was a French movie. I wanted to kiss you with my tongue brushing against yours, but I couldn't because we were friends. (Were we friends since the beginning? I doubted it every time you looked at me.)

There was a deadpan in your every other word and I loved the way it threw me off and made me laugh. I decided I would smile enough for the both of us. I kept thinking of the time of Sandra's birthday when I thought I was initially a wonderful baker and brought out a batch of rocks from the oven, rather than cookies with my next to nothing culinary experience. I kept thinking of how everyone gave up on their teeth when the first bite couldn't get through. You with your unsmiling mouth of yours, chewed on like you didn't know how else to show me you loved me.

(I couldn't breath when I was looking at you. I still can't.)

(Truth to be told, I don't remember what we talked about that very French evening.)

Your face was glass when you told me you might look at boys too... and I shouldn't have been so surprised because of all the invasive questions you took time to ask. And also it was something I knew my heart wanted. Yet, it caught me off guard.

Then, we acted like the conversation didn't happen. (Teenagers, remember?)

(I didn't take you home and introduce you to my mum and stepdad and Gemma. But, why was that day too beautiful to me?)

We sat on the dusty wall of the abandoned house in the corner, our feet swinging and occasionally brushing together. We acted like we were up there with the birds and you said you might catch the clouds in the palms of your hands. You told me about how Lottie told you about a boy in class and you wanted to kill him.

(That's how I felt sometimes, you know? Like I could catch the clouds with you.)

(Other times, I felt like I'd joined them.)

It felt like there was no one else in the world, even though there were kids playing hopscotch on the road before us and a few old ladies taking time to glare at us during their gossip. You let me take pictures of you while you squealed and covered your face.

(I saw your smile and your red cheeks and I wanted to die. I would have fallen off that wall if you hadn't pushed me because you made me dizzy.)

(You still do.)

All I remember are my browned up black jeans, static in the air, you looking pristine in the glittering sunlight (like you always did) and how I couldn't stop smiling. You were smiling by then too.

I walked you to a bus stop and watched your reflection in the window fade into nothing as the bus meandered off and me waving goodbye to no one. And I thought to myself; you weren't just anybody.

(I hoped you weren't the whole universe.)

(Perhaps, that's what hurts. That you turned out to be larger than the universe.)

(I remember it all in technicolour.)

(Now, I stare at you while you promise to hold my hand forever and the ring bearer behind you can't stop crying at us. I can't help but sing to myself 'look how far we've come, my baby')

(Sometimes, I love time and other times, I hate it.)

I (don't) hate you, I tell you because I'm crying the most and you smile because we aren't teenagers anymore and that pushes me to tell you my vows and watch you cry back at me. I promise to never forget.

And so I remember.


End file.
